Paranormal Entity (2009)

EL OH EL. Obvious ripoff is obvious. Honestly, if you've already seen Paranormal Activity, you're not missing anything. Here are the differences between PA and PE:
- Half of the title
- The chick dies instead of the boyfriend
- Tits
There ya go. No points for originality, but it was an okay little time-waster.

5/10

The Poughkeepsie Tapes (2006)

Meh. Poughkeepsie Tapes didn't really do anything for me. It was slightly creepy at best, but it's only a little more R-rated than your average episode of 48 Hours Mystery. I wouldn't have paid to see it.

4/10

Disco Pigs (2001)

Blah blah blah, another freaking Cillian Murphy film, deal with it. This one happens to be different because this was a pretty definite DO NOT WANT. Seriously, I hated both of the characters and their tragic little love story was annoying and contrived. Darren/Pig is a psychopath that loves Sinead/Runt, who is the weakest female lead this side of Bella Swan. Fuck introverted, she was downright passive until the end. The only thing I liked was how they both put a hole in the wall that separated their bedrooms so they could fall asleep holding hands. I thought that was really cute. Other than that, this is not a good film. I hope the play was better.

2/10

28 Days Later (2002)

Everything about the movie is good except for the plot. Good acting, check. Good atmosphere, check. Disgusting and creepy zombie, check. Good camera work and lighting, check check. That being said, I seriously can't understand why I don't like this movie. I think it's because everyone I've talked to is like "ZOMG SCARIEST MOVIE EVAR" and it really isn't. But I feel like that's an awfully petty reason to not like it. Oh, well. I'll figure it out someday. In the meantime:


a reluctant 5/10

Inglourious Basterds (2009)

I watched this again last night and I swear, it gets better every time. Again, there's quite a bit of hate towards this movie, especially about the dialogue. I mean, are you new here or something? Tarantino likes dialogue. A lot. Granted, some scenes run a little long, but it's okay because Brad Pitt was born to play Aldo Raines and Christoph Waltz deserved that Oscar. Brilliant all around.

9/10

The Fourth Kind (2009)

This movie in a nutshell: LOL I TROL U. Seriously, this one of the most successful troll movies I've ever seen. Put "actual" footage with "movie" footage, get a couple of hoax sites and articles by a non-existent psychologist and there you have it. I really don't understand why this got panned by critics. I like this a lot. People just be mad, I guess.

8/10

A Clockwork Orange (1971)

I'm pretty sure I want to be Stanley Kubrick when I grow up. With grungy aesthetics to complement the horrifying subject matter, "A Clockwork Orange" is a movie everyone needs to see before they die. It is fantastic. Stop reading this and go watch it.

10/10

Clerks II (2006)

An amazing full-circle finale to the View Askewniverse. Alanis Morissette, er, God be praised.

9/10