Ratings: A Quick Overview

Each movie is rated out of 10 with 0 being the worst and 10 being the best. Here's a quick rundown on what the numbers mean:

0/10 - Thoroughly reprehensible, this movie should be destroyed thoroughly and completely. Chances are, I will hate this movie with every fiber of my being and never shut up about how much I hate it. If you enjoyed a 0/10 movie of mine, you are wrong and this friendship is over.
1/10 - Pure garbage and a stain on the tapestry of cinematic history. Disregard completely.
2-4/10 - Almost totally awful, but there are a few things that save this movie...a little.
5/10 - Nothing worth mentioning again.
6/10 - Below average.
7-9/10 - Most movies will probably fall under this range. These are movies worth seeing and 9/10 movies have a shot at being some of my favorites.
10/10 - Without question, I will love this movie until my dying day, recommend it to everyone I see, and will issue the beatdown on all naysayers. If you dislike a perfect 10 movie of mine, you are wrong and I hope your parents leave you out of their will.

Please note that all ratings are relative and even subject to change.

Tuesday, August 17, 2010

Dane Cook: Vicious Circle



Technically not a movie, but I'd just like to point out that this is the peak of Dane Cook's career and after this special it went downhill faster than the economy. Rough Around the Edges is painful. He's really a funny guy and I hope he makes a comeback soon. Vicious Circle is hysterical.

9/10
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V for Vendetta



Holy God, this is my favorite movie ever. I want this poster hanging in my room. I just wish that they had acknowledged that Guy Fawkes' Gunpowder Plot was for overthrowing the Protestant government and restoring the archaic and tyrannical Catholic government, the opposite ideals that V was fighting for. Still, I cannot even express how much I fucking love V for Vendetta. Natalie Portman is one of my favorite actresses, Hugo Weaving is a genius, and watching Ollivander from Harry Potter play a raging tyrant is fucking priceless.

11/10
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Dead Silence



A film written and directed by the two guys behind Saw: James Wan and Leigh Whannell. Dead Silence takes an irrational fear and justifies it. A jolly good scare and delivers on all horror fronts.

9/10
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Shutter Island



A little long, but it's a long book and a lot happens in it. I'm glad Martin Scorsese took on this project because I'm not sure I'd trust anyone else with it, except maybe Christopher Nolan. Another Leo triumph and another faithful book adaption. Dennis Lehane should be satisfied. The score is amazing, too.

9/10
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Bridge to Terabithia



A beautiful and wholly faithful adaption to Katherine Paterson's novel of the same name. I didn't even care that Leslie was a mini-bohemian blonde instead of the butch brunette that she is in the book. Everything in the movie just felt right and I actually felt satisfied when it ended. Gabor Csupo gets to direct every children's book movie adaption ever.

10/10
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Corpse Bride



HAHA, OH WOW. What a disappointment this was. I love Tim Burton, but this was about as hokey and trying-too-hard as they come.

5/10
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Avatar



Blew my goddamn mind when I saw it in the theater, but once you realize how many other movies it's akin to (including ANOTHER JAMES CAMERON MOVIE YOU MIGHT KNOW AS "ALIENS"), it loses a lot of its power. The visual effects are unarguably stunning, but with its predictable and overdone plot, that's about all that it has going for it. Plus, now every filmmaker wants in on 3-D, even movies that don't need it. Life is 3-D. Hurr.

6/10
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