Ratings: A Quick Overview

Each movie is rated out of 10 with 0 being the worst and 10 being the best. Here's a quick rundown on what the numbers mean:

0/10 - Thoroughly reprehensible, this movie should be destroyed thoroughly and completely. Chances are, I will hate this movie with every fiber of my being and never shut up about how much I hate it. If you enjoyed a 0/10 movie of mine, you are wrong and this friendship is over.
1/10 - Pure garbage and a stain on the tapestry of cinematic history. Disregard completely.
2-4/10 - Almost totally awful, but there are a few things that save this movie...a little.
5/10 - Nothing worth mentioning again.
6/10 - Below average.
7-9/10 - Most movies will probably fall under this range. These are movies worth seeing and 9/10 movies have a shot at being some of my favorites.
10/10 - Without question, I will love this movie until my dying day, recommend it to everyone I see, and will issue the beatdown on all naysayers. If you dislike a perfect 10 movie of mine, you are wrong and I hope your parents leave you out of their will.

Please note that all ratings are relative and even subject to change.

Friday, October 8, 2010

Inglourious Basterds (2009)


I watched this again last night and I swear, it gets better every time. Again, there's quite a bit of hate towards this movie, especially about the dialogue. I mean, are you new here or something? Tarantino likes dialogue. A lot. Granted, some scenes run a little long, but it's okay because Brad Pitt was born to play Aldo Raines and Christoph Waltz deserved that Oscar. Brilliant all around.

9/10
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The Fourth Kind (2009)


This movie in a nutshell: LOL I TROL U. Seriously, this one of the most successful troll movies I've ever seen. Put "actual" footage with "movie" footage, get a couple of hoax sites and articles by a non-existent psychologist and there you have it. I really don't understand why this got panned by critics. I like this a lot. People just be mad, I guess.

8/10
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Monday, October 4, 2010

A Clockwork Orange (1971)


I'm pretty sure I want to be Stanley Kubrick when I grow up. With grungy aesthetics to complement the horrifying subject matter, "A Clockwork Orange" is a movie everyone needs to see before they die. It is fantastic. Stop reading this and go watch it.

10/10
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Clerks II (2006)


An amazing full-circle finale to the View Askewniverse. Alanis Morissette, er, God be praised.

9/10
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Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Dogma (1999)


This made more sense than any Sunday school class or any church sermon I've sat through. Not to mention a hell of a lot funnier.

8/10
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Thursday, September 23, 2010

Mallrats (1995)


I'm pretty sure Kevin Smith is the only director that can have dead-end college students make "your mom" jokes and have them be funny.

8/10
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Clerks (1994)


My friend Becky is hell-bent on improving my lack of movie classics with all things Kevin Smith, so here we go.

The best way to describe "Clerks" is this: a bunch of dickheads shower you with insight and cigarettes. I get bored if a movie has too much dialogue, but this was good dialogue so I didn't mind so much. Jay and Silent Bob are pretty rad. I'm not sure if I would watch it again, but I got something from it, anyway. Plus, Becky will kill me if I say anything bad about it. "Clerks" rules or something.

7/10
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